Day in the Life in Krasnoyarsk continued

So I think I was a bit ambitious wanting to post twice a week. So I think I’ll stick with once a week.

I will be doing this “day in the life” series with intermittent posts about my life here in the states and my progress towards health. Enjoy!

Here’s part 2 of the series.

1st class wrapping up. They were about 2 hours long.

Break time! Here’s the Buffet(café at uni). Always super crowded at break time, but usually some good fresh bakery items.

Class #2. I was naughty at got a coke at break, but the caffeine boost was much needed. 🙂 

Class is finally out. Now it’s back up the hill to the bus stop. Another 10min walk.

Back on the bus again.

Slightly tired but still going. Ready to get some shopping done.

At “the fort” shopping building.

And then a quick restroom stop. (yes you have to pay)

And on that note… I’ll see you next Tuesday!

Meds, cooking, and pup news

So I thought I would do Tuesdays as a What’s happening right now piece, and then do Thursdays as Krasnoyarsk/Russia kinda piece. Let’s see if I can keep that schedule, no promises, but I will try.

So as you may know I’m on medical leave and my main focus right now is fixing my ridiculous, overactive stomach of mine. So far I’ve gotten a bunch of blood and sample tests done and everything has come back negative. Which is great, kinda. The next step was to get a endoscopy/colonoscopy done but I’ve decided to put that off for about month or so until I can raise the funds. Check out how you can help HERE<<Will update soon when I have a full update on medical costs>>

So the plan for right now is to stay on this crazy strict FODMAP diet and take all these meds AND fiber AND miralax AND green vitamins(AND I will starting probiotics soon). Let me tell ya, that sludge colored drink there, tastes exactly how it looks. BUT I do feel a little bit better, I’m sick 1 day a week instead of 3-4 days a week. So I’ll be doing this for another month and see how it takes.

The hardest part isn’t all the meds and supplements, the hardest part is this crazy strict diet. (FODMAP is all about fructose sugar and what ferments in the gut) So since I have to stay away from common things like wheat, dairy, onions, and garlic, I pretty much have to make everything from scratch. (like tomatoes to pasta sauce kinda deal) Above I’ve make some protein gluten free pancakes, ketchup, and pasta sauce. It does get tiresome, but I’m used to doing this back in Russia. I just get bummed I don’t get to indulge in all the convenient food here in America.

My sweet Ahyaverik, or Ricky as he’s known in the states. I got him registered as an Emotional Support Animal a few months ago and it has helped loads with my anxiety. I think this is my new favorite pic of him, so proud in his official ESA vest and badge.

We had a bit of a crisis happen last Saturday, when he got attacked at the dog park. Me and my mom rushed him to the emergency vet hospital, and they took great care of him. He had 5 puncture wounds around his neck but nothing bad enough for stitches or staples. He’s actually healing very nicely(thanks to some pain meds and antibiotics) and is back to his old self already.

This actually shook me up way more than it did him. When I finally got to him after the attach and saw the blood everywhere I just lost it. With my dog bleeding all over me and thinking I was going watch him be killed 10 minutes ago, I had a panic attack. 😦 But, thankfully with the counseling I got earlier this year, I was able to calm down and be back to stable in 30 minutes. Which, I’m grateful for, because it used to take me hours to get out of that state and it would ruin my whole day. So I’m thankful and proud of the progress I’ve made.

The worst part is I was so upset at myself for how I reacted. I used to be the solid person in a crisis, the one who was calm and helping others who couldn’t handle it. Now, I’m the blubbering mess in the corner who can’t stop crying. Le sigh, maybe one day I will get back there, but for now I’ll take the progress I’ve made so far.

Til next time 🙂

A day in the life in Krasnoyarsk

It’s been almost 4 months since I’ve been in my sweet Siberia. I’m thankful to be back (in one of my) home, on the path to getting healthy. I have a GI exploratory procedure scheduled for next week. I’m trying not to freak out while not minimizing it, it’s not a surgery or anything but it will require full sedation and a bit of recovery time.

I miss my sweet Krasnoyarsk, so I thought I’d post a day in the life picture story that I took back in October. Enjoy! 🙂

 

Morning walk with the pup through the forest by my apartment

 

A bit brisk at +2 Celsius, but still nice out

My sink almost overflowed before I left for class, My plumbing isn’t great. Luckily I caught it before it made a mess.

 

Morning walk with the pup through the forest by my apartment

early bus ride, hardly anyone on the bus yet

10-20 minute walk from the bus stop to the university

continued walk to the university (crosswalk downtown)

And down the eroded steps

And down the street around the corner and finally at the university

 

One of two classes for the day

More to come, every Tuesday I will be updating my blog. See you then!

 

Ulan Ude part 3

I will be doing a proper post later, but for now here’s some pictures from the last leg of my trip.

the Buddhist temple at the highest place in Ulan Ude

the view from the temple was amazing

Buddhist culture is a big influence in Ulan Ude, this was more of the grounds at the temple

it was so much walking, see that path, that’s only 1/4 of it

this little guy came along, Tanya’s cousin said he was called no name

statue with prayer offerings of money, there were many of these

me Tanya and her cousin who showed us the temple

me and Tanya at the Ethnography museum, i got to dress up in tradition Buryat garb.

the lady at the shop insisted i pose for more pictures

the full costume, in the correct pose(they are very particular about that) in front of the Ethnography museum

seeing how ancient Russians lived

more museum

in order to keep these houses mobile to keep their nomad roots, they would number the logs so they would be placed in the correct order

the Evenki site, that piece of wood is a reindeer 🙂

At lake Baikal

so gorgeous, but the water was freezing

enjoying my vacation

we even staying in proper urrts instead of tents

worship service

toes in the sand, bliss

me and Tanya, playing in the dirt, annoying each other 😛

more beach fun

this was the Buddhist temple, these are prayer wheels

at the Buddhist temple, prayer flags on the mountain

at the Buddhist temple, giant bell to ring to pray, so many different ways to “pray”

Ulan-Ude part 2

Well, I’m about halfway through my time here in Ulan Ude and time is just flying by. Tanya and I seem to vibe really well together. It’s always nice to be around someone who appreciates naps, is ok with me sleeping in til 10 despite her waking up at 7, and doesn’t try and push or ignore the fact that my stomach is on the fritiz. And I do adore being around artist, like I said before she’s a balloon artist, and while I’ve been here she’s made some intense creations, and I’ve gotten help her out a little, which is really fun. I’ve gotten to know her community of friends pretty well and they’ve been over for a couple times for card games and hanging out, we’ve been to the movies, and even did a girls night at a friend of her’s that just got married. They’re all so sweet, for example, I skipped out on church Sunday morning because my stomach was just not having it, and Tanya decided to stay home to work on a couple of balloon orders she had, and one of her friends called and Tanya told her we weren’t coming since I wasn’t feeling well. I went and took a nap and later lots of people came over to hang out and play cards. Every single one of them asked how I was feeling (without being prompted) even Tanya was surprised. Such a blessing to be surrounded by so many believers.

So I went out to explore the city on my own a bit and get some “B role” for my ethnography video essay. It was nice to actually feel like I’m on vacation. I’m still getting used to this luxury as most of my adult life I could never afford to take time off work for a vacation, and if I did it was to go to a conference or training.

More exploration plans in the next few days and then we’re going to Lake Baikal with the church group for a few days. There I will be finishing up my ethnography project with filmed interviews. Here’s some  pictures so far 😀

one of Tanya’s balloon creations

Me and Tanya at the world’s largest statue of Lenin’s head, seriously this thing is bigger than an SUV

Me and Tanya at the main square

the arch was originally built for Tzar Nicholas II but was torn down during the soviet era then rebuilt in 2006

a walk through the main square

new friends at a late movie

playing Monopoly

girls night, looking at wedding videos and eating fondue

yummy fondue

exploring the town by myself selfie, in front of the opera/ballet theatre

Ulan Ude – part 1

So after a 26 hour train ride, I made it to Ulan Ude.

The city feels like a combination of Khabarovsk and Krasnoyarsk, meaning it’s still a very modern city but has much more traditional Russian architecture. As we pulled into my host Tanya’s complex, we passed the park where kids were playing and there was a line of older men playing chess and checkers on tree stumps. The cottonwood trees are blossoming and almost resembles snow as it cascades over everything like something out of an indie film.

Tanya is currently a balloon artist! Which is totally rad! She made 2 large bears and bees on flowers my first day.

I met Tanya on Facebook through Melody. She said this is the first time she’s ever hosted someone she’s never met in real life. But it has become a habit of mine. That’s one of my favorite things about the Christian community. Oh you Love God, me too! Wanna stay at my house for a week? Here do you need to borrow my car? My mom’s making dinner, come eat with us! Learning to live a life that totally relies on God to provide for everything, has been incredibly humbling.

Oh and Tanya also has a cat, which is actually really sweet and I’m not allergic to. Russian cats have something different about them I’ve determined.

I’m actually feeling confident about my crummy language skills and feel really relaxed and excited about the 2 weeks ahead. It’ll be a nice working vacation.

What will I be working on?

Well, I will be doing my best to flex my Russian language muscles AND trying my first ethnography project.

What is ethnography? Ethnography is the scientific description of peoples and cultures with their customs, habits, and mutual differences. I will be focusing on the Buryat people, since my host Tanya is Buryat. I will do my best to update y’all every couple of days. Prayers appreciated for friendship opportunities and confidence in language!

making new friends

I’ve been doing a lot of research lately on how to make friends as an adult. Which totally nerdy, i know. But I’ve found i’m having to relearn this childhood skill as I’m doing it in a new language. Learning to talk in Russian means I’m very aware of every word that i say since my vocabulary is very limited. Which means, I’m having to analyze how small talk conversations naturally go so that i can learn those phrases and use them, well, naturally.

So there is surprisingly a lot of information and videos out there in internet land about making friends as an adult. And the most important thing they all have said is confidence, don’t wait for people to approach you, take the first step. Which is a skill I have let slip away as my confidence in my language has shrunk significantly.

Sooooo here’s my plan. This summer I’m going to actively go out and make new friends. (I’m doing it during summer because Russians do this funny thing that as soon as it gets hot outside they are open and friendly and more willing to talk to strangers, but as soon as its cold they keep to themselves. curious culture it is)

For June, while my TL’s are out of the country for the month, my goal is to make 1 new friend every week. Before I go out each time, I will be praying and asking for guidance on where and who to speak with. I mean to start a relationship where i could call them up at a later time and hang out, not just an acquaintance but a friend. AND double bonus if they’re indigenous AND triple bonus if they are Evenki.

I will update y’all with stories as I think it will help keep me accountable. 😀

taking the pup to the dog hotel

So I took my new pup Ahyaverik to the dog hotel today, because Melody and I are heading out for about 10 days for a couple of person of peace trips to some Nanai villages further east and to visit a friend Paul and Melody have discipled for several years. Now this trip has been something i’ve wanted to do for many years, ever since i read about it in Organic Church years ago about CPM methods. I’m excited to go do what God called me to Siberia to do, reach unreached people where there are, where they live. Its less common for women to go just because of safety concerns and cultural standards. Here in Russia there’s not a huge gender divide which makes it easier for us to go.

So leaving for this trip i’ve been dreaming of for years in less than 24 hours and all i can think about is my sweet pup. First time dog owner problems i guess. I’ve only had Ahyaverik for about 1 month and he’s not quite crate trained so I’m a bit worried about him. I was very grateful my Russian friend Yulia went with me to this small private owned dog hotel (so glad they even have those here in Krasnoyarsk). I was really quite sad to leave my little guy. Yulia was so sweet and kept reassuring me its only for about 10 days and that it will be ok. She even had me “take her” aka hook arms with her while walking (very common for girls to do this here but i’m not big on it) but i needed it, i needed to hang on her and sigh longly as we walked away from my little guy to the bus stop.

I trust he will be taken care of and maybe he will be crate trained by the time I get back.

I feel silly that this is what’s consuming my thoughts as I get ready to throw myself at God’s feet and let him lead me into unknown towns and share His stories with strangers. But I guess its a good distraction. Prayers for a calm heart and that my sweet pup does well without his mama for a while.

not broken but beautiful

I’m back in Krasnoyarsk! But i have to admit it’s been a much harder transition than i anticipated.

I could regale you with details of my first experience with culture shock (apparently i was just experiencing home sickness last year), but instead i want to share with you something God revealed to me tonight.

My anxiety levels are at their highest in almost five years, so much so I went back on medication a couple weeks before I left. Not all of you know but i’ve had bouts with depression and anxiety since I was a teenager and have had counseling and taken medication to help manage it.

My biggest question for God is all this was why did he make me like this? Why did he make me so broken, to have ADD, stomach problems, anxiety, and depression, so much that i couldn’t function like a “normal” person without medication. Seriously, what was up with that?!?

I used to think it was JUST to make me rely on God more, to help me realize that even though i am totally weak he is incredibly strong. And in my youth (gross that makes me sound old) it did teach me that. That God loves using us weaklings so that His glory can shine through when something awesome happens, because we know it couldn’t have possibly been us.

But tonight as I was wrestling with the guilt of not hanging out with a Sakha friend that i had made plans with but just simply didn’t follow through on. I was hiding in my lil internet world, hiding from reality, because i was scared, i didn’t want to face anything that would make me feel anxious.

Is it so bad to hide? I asked God. YES!  but i can’t because of my… AND DON’T YOU DARE BLAME THIS ON YOUR ANXIETY! what!?! THAT’S HOW I MADE YOU. and why is that, huh? why did you make me this way, so broken? YOU’RE NOT BROKEN. I MADE YOU THIS WAY SO THAT PEOPLE WOULD BE GENTLER WITH YOU, KINDER. <starting to sob> what? SO THAT PEOPLE WOULD BE GENTLER WITH YOU.

And I knew exactly what he meant, I have a very spirited personality and like to give the image that I can handle myself. And i very rarely ask for help on my own, unless its something i feel very strongly about that people should know about and respect and know how to help with. Just ask me anytime about mental/behavioral/learning disabilities by the end of our conversation i will make sure you at least some what understand what people with disabilities go through and how to help them. And i also knew in turn it was so i would be kinder on myself, and not push myself past my limits.

But that’s not what made me cry, that my disabilities weren’t just things i had to overcome but they were put there by God as sort of protection. How beautiful is that?

I was also reminded my only job is to show up, it’s up to him to change people hearts and minds since he’s the only one that can do that anyways. Which i love since that totally takes the pressure off me.

So that’s been my night. I couldn’t of asked for a more peaceful relief to my guilt. Thank you God for making me the way I am, Thank you!

Packing and saying goodbye, again.

Packing is one of those things I’m actually really good at, but I just really hate doing it.

But I was able to get this mess             into this organized mess

Until finally into this glorious-ness

Saying goodbye to family and friends has been the hardest part of my last week. You think I’d be used to it by now, but it never gets easier. Telling the people you love you can’t be there for them because you’ve been called to love others across the world. It’s not fair, but it comes with the territory.

I’ve been so blessed to get to hang out with so many of y’all and reconnect with tons others, but unfortunately due to scheduling and my inept abilites for time management I haven’t gotten to see a lot of y’all. Please don’t take this as a reflection of your importance in my life, its just time is short and i suck at schedule.

I would have totally died for a personal assistant while I was here in Texas, keeping up with fast paced Americans isn’t easy.

But i’m ready to go back, worst part is going to be the jet lag (it usually lasts for about 2 weeks going that far across the world). But I can’t wait to see my team and be with them and hang out and work with them again. I mean look at these faces

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Prayers for my flight on Friday! I love you all!